Last Thursday and Friday was quite an adventure. Being the poor college student that I am, I decided to participate in a NIH research schizophrenia study last Thursday and Friday. These people pretty much pay you a lot of money to be their guinea pigs. Don’t worry, though–I was in the “healthy control group”. Interviews, MRI’s, neurological physical exam, cognitive analysis exercises, and an MEG didn’t seem too bad for $360 over 2 morning/early afternoon sessions. And I had already prepared myself to stubbornly push through the blood draw that would take place early Thursday morning. You see, I absolutely hate needles and the sight of blood. Still worse is the fact that I have low-blood pressure, so I get really sick and light-headed every time I get shots. Well, I wasn’t exactly prepared for the moment when the nurse walked in with NINE vials. I cleared my throat and asked her, “Excuse me, but are you going to be filling ALL of those?” “Sure, honey” she replied, “but it won’t take too long…just sit back and relax”. Relax? Yea, right. Sweat beads had already formed on my brow and I began muttering prayers under my breath. Then, they started asking me “the questions” to distract me. When I was 5, it was the ABC’s. Now, it was about college.
I laid back, looked away, and hoped for the best. A second later, I felt the cold, wet touch of an anti-bacterial cloth in the inside corner of my arm and then, the prick of the needle. 2 minutes later, I had broken out in a cold sweat, was completely losing consciousness, and begging like a baby for them to finish. My stomach felt ill, I couldn’t think, and the rush of blood from my head was simply awful. Stupid genetic study. 5 minutes later, they were forcing orange juice into me and trying to get my pulse up, which had dropped to below 90. (I’m not a medical person, but apparently 120-130 is normal.)
By the end of the day, I was exhausted. My left eye was twitching from concentrating so hard on all these cognitive computer tests I had to perform. I came home and told my Mom that “there is no place like home”. Seriously! In fact, I ended up feeling somewhat like an idiot because the last thing I did on Day 1 was a math test, and I was brain fried at that point. I admit it–I couldn’t answer this really simple question. Let me know if you can:
If a factory can produce 8 automobiles in 6 hours, how many automobiles can be manufactured in 30 minutes?
The next day, I also did a MEG test, which is short for a “magnetoencephalography”. They hooked all these electrods on my head and face and basically stuck me underneath a life-size hair processer for an hour. The picture above should hopefully give you an idea of how ridiculous one can feel when you actually become the science project. Pretty incredible tools, though.
Well, I guess that’s what you get when you sign up for a research study. At least the $360 will come in handy!