Four Friday’s ago, I drove away from my childhood home in Maryland to board a plane that would take me to a small, mountain town called Kijabe, Kenya. In this small town, I knew that I would be making a new home in a new culture, new friends, new purpose, new foods, new routines, new responsibilities, new spiritual struggles and triumphs, and new life experiences. But, little did I know just how much God had prepared for me. Just as a day never seems to have enough hours in it, so too, my heart cannot seem to hold all of the things that God has already brought along my path. Good things. Hard things. Funny things. Overwhelming things. Joyful things. Fun things. Sad things. Refreshing things. New things. Not only is God after my own heart, but I have become an up-close-and-personal witness to God at work in the lives of seventeen young women. We have only just scratched the surface of our friendships with each other, but I am confident that there is a beautiful thing being planted here in the mountains of Kijabe.
Was it really just 1 month ago? In some ways, it already feels like I have been here for months and months…from the moment I wake up to the moment I lay my (often) weary head on my pillow, I am amazed at how little time I spent thinking about myself during the day. And, then I am even more excited, because I have realized one of my goals: thinking less of me, and more of others. It is as refreshing as when you lay down in the warm sun on a beach towel after having spent an hour in the ocean and breathe that wonderful sigh of contentment, because your body is so tired from working hard. When I hit my pillow, I feel that way. Content and happy that God has used a weak vessel such as myself for His own glory and purpose.
Now, that’s not to say that I don’t mess up and make things stickier than they should be. I am more aware of certain weaknesses than ever before, and am humbled by my own sinful motives, unkind words, judgments, and selfish ambitions. But, I suppose that is what makes somebody a good Leader. The ability to see mistakes, own up to them, and in doing so, associates oneself with his or her followers. After all, nobody expects perfection, and nobody wants to be friends with somebody who thinks they have it all together…true relational connection is made between people who can openly acknowledge their needs and freely be themselves without any facade or show. And, don’t we all know how easy it is to put on a facade of having it all together? 🙂
One of the poems I wrote this month tried to address this idea of even our best actions and intentions are tainted…and yet, the Spirit’s power is fully capable to draw us together in harmony.
A Mission of grace,
All through the week,
And then some hours,
That through the clock, leak.
We tarry till dusk,
and wake at dawn,
for the King of the Mission,
for whose Return, we do long.
How do we redeem,
Each struggle & trial?
Moments where grace,
in messy souls, seems defiled.
As sinners, we serve,
fellow sinners, too,
And, tainted- our best,
In what we think, say, and do.
How shall Love, then,
Bind tightly our hearts?
So pride dare not,
Pull this Body apart?
This gospel of peace,
Like shoes on our feet,
As we pray in the Spirit,
Strife, we will beat.
So, teach us, Lord.
By the Spirit to walk,
And to shine Your light,
Upon any door we knock.
It has been good to follow your journey in Africa Emily both on your blog and through Twitter. I am following you on Twitter as ” Daddybruce” I hope that this comment posts and please know that Barb and I pray often that God will give you the strength sufficient for each day…. one day at a time.